So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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