is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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