I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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