would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I will pee on everything he values.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
