Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
