I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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