Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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