He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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