Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
