girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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