By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
