lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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