The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
