forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Randomize
