My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
