this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
