How'd it feel making her break her religion?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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