I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
