Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
