Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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