I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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