Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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