wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
