Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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