Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
