so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
