Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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