This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
