Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
