My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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