I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
