I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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