Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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