I think I just saw someone hide a body.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Someone signed my nipple.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
