I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
