He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
where does the pee come out of this thing
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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