I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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