Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
