You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
