Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
