so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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