I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I need a beard to bite.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
