wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
