my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
