Having a random hookup so left but love u
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
