I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
