wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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