party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
