Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
