So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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