Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
